Life Of A Dreamer

We have all felt scared—of what we’ll do with our lives. At the point of college graduation, the rest of your life feels so long. All you have planned in the last 20 years is to graduate, graduate, and graduate—in elementary, high school, and college. And now you’re done. What do you do next? You are daunted by the immensity of the responsibility you have for your life. Of the pride you are burdened to bring home to your parents, to flaunt at your peers. Of the certainty you have to show to the world—that you know what you’re doing with your life. But you don’t. We have all been that shit-scared. We all still are.

After the graduation, we thought we’re on our way to change the world. We’re rushing to be the successful person we’ve imagined ourselves to be when we were still in college. We once thought we were great until the world told us otherwise. We get disillusioned as soon as we are waylaid or are diverted from our expected routes.

We started to ask what is our purpose. We don’t know what we want to do and we fucks up our chances in life. So our fragile heart will be crowded with a fear so suffocating we could hardly breathe. I am too afraid, the kind of fear that is both inexplicable and unknown, that I ended up getting nowhere. What if I wouldn’t achieve my dreams? And when fear of not being enough gets the best of you, it’s so hard to let the opportunities in no matter how big or small they are.

We are in this generation which just had this ‘idea’ of what success should look like—corporate attires, titles to your name, a physical structure called an office, certificates. But our world has expanded now. That vloggers and content creators and the virtual world . . . they had now become legit sources of income. And if you works in creative field, people thinking you don’t actually have a job. You are just wasting your potential. They don’t considered it as ‘work’ and ‘successful’ or ‘braggable’ by their standards. Apparently, unless you’re in a HIGH position or has a business, they thinks you’re aimless with no foreseeable good future. Someone who can’t do anything on his own, but we know better. This is our world now. We have our own strengths and weaknesses. Just because you aren’t a doctor or a diplomat doesn’t mean you aren’t making a difference in the world. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t get it. Defending your career may as well be your full-time job at this point. Also, parents should understand that their children aren’t supposed to be their clones, that we’re different individual and it’s unfair to use that “this worked for me so this should work for you too” paradigm.

I wanted to share the realizations that I have learned:

I have read this book entitled, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck: A Counter-Intuitive Approach to Living a Good Life. The author, Mark Manson, says that every day, we get bombarded by a thousand different reasons to not do what we’ve always wanted to do: We lose our drive, we get afraid, we get anxious.

We’d rather be comfortable staying in the status quo than actually take the risk of failing, or being rejected, or worse, mocked for our efforts. So we don’t do it.

But always, when we finally decided to confront these fears, when we suddenly get the guts and the grits to actually do something, we ask, “How?”

Right. How do we chase our dreams?

How do you resign from that job that’s been killing your spirit for more than 10 years now?
How do you break up with that person whom you’ve fallen out of love with?
How do you approach the girl you’ve been crushing on since high school?
How do you take charge of your life?
How do you start a business?
How do you write a book?
How?
How?
How?

Manson says there is no how.

You just do it.

There is no how. You just have to do something. Anything.

Just keep doing what you do. You just soldier on. You just keep at it.

Take the first step.

Remember, great things start from small, awkward, and oftentimes “wrong” beginnings.

Extraordinary dreams are fulfilled when ordinary steps are taken.

One step after another. One foot after the other. One more milestone after the next.

We will fail. That’s okay. We learn.

We will be disappointed. That’s okay. We’ll deal.

We will be rejected. That’s okay. We’ll try again.

We will lose heart. That’s okay. We’ll find it again.

We will lose our fire again. That’s okay. We can always start another.

Inspiration, I believe, is an emotion. And emotions come and go. If there’s anything at all I’ve learned about this cycle of beginning-doing-stopping-rinse-repeat, it’s that we can’t let our emotions dictate our actions. Otherwise we’re never ever going to get anything done.

Instead, we let our actions define our emotions.

We don’t wait for the feeling. We don’t wait for the fire. We don’t wait for the fuel.

We just do it. We just go. We just run.

And then maybe with enough action, we get to feel inspired again.

Maybe with enough friction, we will be able to rekindle the fire.

Maybe as we cover more miles, we will find a place where we can refuel.

Most importantly, have faith. Only God can define your destiny; If we want to honor God in our lives then we also have to understand that only God can define our destiny. Because He knows what’s best for you. The creator has no doubt on what you purpose is.

Matthew 6:33 – “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Know, love and serve the Lord for you to be familiar with the Lord and then you’ll be able to recognize His calling.

If God is calling you to do it, He will equipt you to do it.

Exodus 31:3 – and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills . . .

And no calling is more important than the other. Let’s focus on the creator. Let’s not focus on comparing ourselves to others. Jealousy comes from counting others blessings instead our own. And it will keep you away from experiencing the life that God has prepared for you, so instead of comparing our lives into somebody else’s lives, we should start being more appreciative and thankful for what God’s doing in our lives. He has a plan for you and it is beautiful and unique. Be gentle and let’s learn to respond with love. Be happy for others and be happy for yourself too.

Keep in mind that your jealousy will hurt others, and your jealousy will hurt you so let’s stop trying to fit ourselves in somebody else’s lives but enjoy the life that God prepared for you.

Proverbs 14:30 – A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

Lastly, you should not only trust the process but be productive in the process.

Maybe God is putting you in a working progress, in a preparation zone right now for you to be fully equipt and ready for the purpose He has in store for you.

Takeaways:

•When we are young and full of hope, we dream of changing the world. As we get older, we didn’t realize that our dreams made us change ourselves to the point that our perception to the world is disordered. But nothing’s temporary. We can go back to the way we were—for good.

•You don’t have the right nor anyone to call you a failure when you didn’t get the dreams you wanted. You’re still young. Don’t stop dreaming and do take actions on it.

•Sometimes the process of achieving our dreams might hurt us, a little or too bad. It’s okay, love. Everyone is experiencing it but with a different intensity.

•School achievements, honors and grades might not always take us far. Resilience, patience, faith and integrity are the key!

•There are people who hinders our growth. Beware of them. Be with people who takes out the best in you.

•Let’s each be the best version of ourselves today. Let see how that goes, and remember we can try again tomorrow too. Let’s see what happens when we put in more effort.

•We are so focused on being perfect that we often lose sight of what’s really important. Living an imperfect life with contentment, and finding that one thing that sparks happiness in our hearts. We are in constant battle with ourselves, trying to fit in a box when in reality we are boundless, and ever transcendental.

This is our reminder that there’s no need to rush. Feel free to walk barefoot, and take little steps at a time. For whatever you are chasing after, this life is yours. This life is yours.


To my 15 year old self . . .

I know it seems scary now. You’re beginning to feel the pressure of expecting to know what to do with your life. But please be kind and patient with yourself. Like you’ve always done you’ll place the weight of the world on your shoulders. Trust in the process. Eventually, you’ll discover the work that you love that makes you feel fulfilled. And it’s nothing that you’d expected, but it’s greater than you’ve ever, ever dreamed.

Never, ever lose faith.

Sincerely, Kim.

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