The Art Of Forgiveness

They say that the people you love the most will hurt you the most.

Do you still choose to love despite of . . .

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

-1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is easy to release but it is demanding. It is so easy to say the nine letter words “Mahal Kita” (I love you) but it’s truly hard to prove it. And the only one who already proved love is nothing but God. He demonstrates His own love for us.

Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sins. He sacrificed Himself because of His love for us. He love and forgive us despite of the sins we made. For LOVE AND FORGIVENESS must come together.

It’s not easy to love and forgive especially if you are hurting. In fact, it is the people that we love the most that can hurt us the most.

Forgiveness can be messy and painful. Acknowledging wrong that has been done to you and making a choice to forgive is not always simple. It can be emotionally exhausting. I’ve been there. The pain that I had to go through in my childhood stirred up all kinds of anger and resentment. And in the process, I realized that there was a lot (and I do mean A LOT) of other areas of my life where I needed to forgive.

I had to forgive my parents for not being perfect parents. I had to forgive those paper people who judged me, who didn’t believe in my capabilities and who had given me hurtful and destructive remarks. I had to forgive an old workmate who plagiarized my writing. I had to forgive my sister for assorted sisterly things. I had to forgive my dad for not being a responsible and for not being a father figure he supposed to be when there was a time . . . before he died. I had to forgive friends who had lied to me. I had to forgive a lot of other things so painful that I can’t list them here. I had to forgive myself, too.

I learned one of those annoyingly obvious life lessons in the process: you can’t control others, you can only control yourself.

For me, this is my choice to let go and release, not in a way I go in person to most of these people and discuss what they had done wrong and inform them of my benevolence. Not about trying to pour guilt or shame on anyone. It’s just me dealing this heart issue of mine.

There are many people that you are going to have to learn to forgive even with an absence of an apology. Not because you don’t deserve one, but only because you deserve peace of mind.

We often attach the importance of forgiveness to words when the truth is, not everyone will be willing to, or can truly comprehend the language of your pain. Waiting for an apology that is never coming will only poison you slowly. Waiting for an apology that is never coming will only give you a false sense of your worth and will only steal your peace and giving that person a power over you because the more you wait for an apology that is never coming, the longer you will hold for the anger, grudges, pain and grief.

Forgiveness is self-love. As we get older, we’ll learn how to value ourselves completely without asking for anyone’s confirmation nor attention. To forgive is to remove bitterness and create more space for love, gentleness and kindness.

In Matthew 18:21-22 says that we need to forgive a person seventy seven times in a day.

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

It’s not easy to forgive because forgiveness is not one time event but a decision daily. But, we must remember that the worst thing brings out the best things. It’s an opportunity to be Christ-like.

To not forgive brings torment in our lives.

To not forgive is unforgivable.

To not forgive is not being Christlike.

We might tell to ourselves, “well, he does not deserve my forgiveness.” Beloved, neither did you deserve God’s forgiveness. There is not a single person alive or dead who did not break all of God’s commandments. There is no such thing as a “partial sinner” or “great sinner”. All of us were great sinners when Jesus saved us. And when we realize that we are forgiven much, we will love much.

But what is MORE tiring and exhausting? To love or to forgive?

Maybe you are tired not because you love, but because you forgive.

You love the person, and so you forgive.

But here they go again, doing the sin over again. You forgive and they hurt you again.

Until such a time, you want to give up and stop. Not because you don’t love them, but because you don’t want to forgive anymore.


But . . . The Word of God says that THE ONLY WAY TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART IS TO FORGIVE.

To forgive is tiresome.

But Jesus didn’t tell us to stop forgiving.

In fact, He taught us the more we are hurt, the more we need to forgive.

That’s why if you’re already tired and hurting: COME TO JESUS.

Rest your heart.

Jesus understands it takes effort to love and it takes effort to forgive. But that is the only way you can heal.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

-Matthew 11:28

The good news is, Lord didn’t just give you rest but He also heal you. He will give you his yoke . . . He wants you to: TO CONTINUE FORGIVING.

You who are tired and hurt, when you got an opportunity to go to the foot of Jesus and worship, YOU GRAB IT!

So, whatever that’s weighing you down right now, surrender it to God. He can heal your deep wounds.

Take the first step: acceptance.

Acceptance is the first step to healing, then forgive.

Let go of the pride that’s stealing your joy.

Let go of the offense that’s robbing your peace.

Let go of the memories that’s keeping stuck.

Healing is a process. No rush. Take your time to heal but please, this time do it with God.

Forgiveness means that you extend grace—undeserved favor—like how God extends undeserved favor to you. If you choose to hold on to bitterness, no one suffers but you. You lose your peace, then possibly your health. It is just not worth it. God says to you, “Let go. Forgive them their debts, just as I have forgiven you yours.”